Midweek Motivator - 5th July 2023
How to channel your sex energy (Part 1 of 2) and wth that even means
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This Midweek motivator is designed to pull you out of the post-weekend slump, and share inspiration and entertainment from women crafting away at their dreams. This week giving a comprehensive digest of the rules of magnetism, as originally taught by Napoleon Hill in ‘Think and Grow Rich’. This is an adaptation of an article I wrote nearly four years ago, which is my most read essay ever. I guess people really wanna know how to channel that magnetism they know they have :)
“The difference between normal language and seductive language is like the difference between noise and music”
— Robert Greene
In 1937, a journalist named Napoleon Hill wanted to understand what exactly it takes to become rich* (*filthy rich). Over the course of 20 years he studied 500 of the world’s wealthiest men including Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie. The results of his research were published in a book optimistically titled Think and Grow Rich. In this book, Hill highlights the five attributes of what he describes as “sex energy”. Something he believes all of history’s most successful people have in bucketloads. These attributes are the ways sexuality can reveal itself in your presence.
This presence - otherwise called magnetism - is something you’re aware of in certain people, but it’s difficult to define. What exactly it is that makes someone seem almost bigger than others around them?
“There never has been, and never will be a great leader, builder, or artist lacking in this driving force of sex.” — Napoleon Hill
JFK, Marilyn Monroe, Oprah, Naomi Campbell, Elon Musk. Influential people that have worked on their magnetism, in order to increase their allure. They all have the power to spark a sense of possibility and interest in other people.
You could also look at this quality as your seductive ability. ‘Seduction’ is often thought of as a negative thing, associated with trickery or sexual manipulation. But seduction in a purer form, isn’t really about manipulation. Seduction is about bringing people round to your perspective. It’s a skill of persuasion, essential if you want to be good at converting, in business and in life.
“Seduction is a skill no matter how you use it” — Chen Lizra (from the Ted Talk The power of seduction in our everyday lives’)
There are many detailed books and essays written on this, but I believe through the five demonstrations of “sex energy” Hill outlined the most transformative areas. Characteristics which have been nailed by some of the world’s most powerful and magnetic people. It feels as though by focusing on these, no matter who you are or what you look like, you can enhance your magnetism and begin to exercise greater influence over your peers.
Worth noting that, the five areas are not gender specific. Fundamental to Freud’s psychological work was that the human libido is essentially bisexual and the areas I’ll describe affect both genders, regardless of sexual orientation. Most of the examples I’ve used focus on women because, well, I am one and therefore find them more relatable, but the same rules apply to all genders.
“Seduction is a psychological process that transcends gender, except in a few key areas where each gender has its own weakness.”
— Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
№1: The hand-shake. The touch of the hand indicates, instantly, the presence of magnetism, or the lack of it.
Hands are important for many reasons. Not least because they provide one of the most intimate forms of contact you can have with anyone. In some cultures, they’re the only part of a woman men can see beyond the eyes.
When I was growing up, the first magazines I read offered advice on the very early stages of flirtation and sexual contact. After I’d read through “How to kiss” in depth, there was some particular advice they always gave, which was to “reveal your wrists to your crush”. Now whilst this was a diluted form of journalism giving pre-teens some safe flirtation tactics, there was some truth in it. Because our hands are generally face down, wrists aren’t seen so frequently and therefore revealing them is a very small hint towards intimacy. Think back to the days men traditionally greeted women by kissing their hands; a sign of respect and admiration in both the giving and receiving.
Hands are without doubt one of our most powerful tools of communication. They’re used in prayer, to get the bill in a foreign restaurant, to tell someone that you’re a-OK and to safely land a plane. Ballet is a 300 year old performance style in which gestures actually replace the need for speech.
One of the most famous romantic scenes ever written is the first time Romeo meets Juliet. Before kissing, their hands meet, as if to test their chemistry through physical contact.
“For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”
Juliet, Act i, Scene Vi
When it comes to maximising the impact of your hands in daily life, consider the humble handshake. An exchange you make many times a day in formal settings, the handshake gives you an opportunity to distinguish yourself. A firm handshake is often unexpected by someone very feminine but it confirms intent. For that moment when you have someone’s hand you can use it to let them know you are engaged and mean business.
№2: The tone of voice. Magnetism, or sex energy, is the factor with which the voice may be coloured, or made musical and charming.
ft. Barack Obama
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